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7月18日 Performing breathtaking heroics in a girl's bedroom (albeit with an Allen key..!)If someone had to describe what sort of person I am, then I think it'd be fair to say that I can often be a cheeky so-and-so. And it's a tendency that sometimes gets me into a lot of trouble!
A good example of this would be a certain incident that ocurred about four years ago - when my big mouth got me into a situation where, for a couple of seconds, I honestly thought I was going to get beaten up by former Engerland goalkeeper Peter Shilton!
Of course, when you're a bit of a cheeky monkey, it's probably only fair that you get a taste of your own medicine sometimes. And this was a position I found myself in the other day.
Yes, enter my mate Emilie, who is officially the cheekiest person I know just at this moment!
Now earlier this week, Em asked if I fancied meeting her after work for a drink.
I duly rolled up at the bar in Nottingham city centre where we'd arranged to meet. However, it quickly became apparent that a pint and a catch-up had not been entirely on the top of Em's agenda! Oh no...
Basically, Em has recently moved house - and to be blunt, she needed a willing manslave to put together a flat-pack bed that she'd just had delivered from Argos. And apparently, I was just the knight in shining armour to fulfil that job!
What's more, could I try and do it in the next hour - because she had a rehearsal later with the band that she sings for!
Yes, I know, she's a cheeky minx! But I love her...
So then, beers were quicky downed, and we found ourselves thundering in Em's car back to her house.
It was probably the quickest time ever recorded for a boy ending up in a girl's bedroom after having shared a drink with her. And I must say, Em's boudoir was a sight to behold - like a slightly more grown-up version of the girl's room in the legendary 80s film 'The Labyrinth'!
So then, after a quick look at the instructions - which, as is par for the course with flat-pack furniture, were pretty incomprehensible, I quickly got to work.
And I'm proud to report that a disparate pile of screws and bits of metal very quickly ended up looking like a very sturdy bed indeed!
What can I say - I am pretty much a cross between the Milk Tray man and Handy Andy..!
What's more, Em made my efforts worthwhile too - as in return for my Allen Key wizardry, she wrote me a cheque for £10 to be split between the two charities that myself and my friend Ed have been raising money for as part of our entry into this year's Mongol Rally.
And she cooked me some tea too!
If you're reading these witterings on my blog at www.softbulletin.co.uk, the latest photo album I've uploaded to my gallery section shows a blow-by-blow pictoral account of my foray into the dark world of flat-pack furniture.
One of the snaps in the sequence is of the house where my parents lived up until I was six years old - a place that holds lots of happy memories for me of my early years - as bizarrely, it turned out that Em's new gaff is literally just a stone's throw away.
The album also includes photos from some other shenanigans that I've been involved in over the last few days - first of all, a flying visit to Stratford-upon-Avon, where I partook in a spot of Shakespeare.
In additon, there's a few snaps that I decided to take on a whim the other day when I decided to go for a pint in the White Horse - a pub in Nottingham that's famous for having been used as a shooting location in the iconic film 'Saturday Night and Sunday Morning'.
Yes, I know, I'm a right cultured motherfucker, me..! 7月15日 Dolly Parton, lifesize cardboard cut-outs, and other stories..!Well, it's been a ridculously busy time of late in the world of Rich. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I've not so much been burning the candle at both ends as taking a blowtorch to it!
It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that the two main things that have been taking up pretty much all my time of late have been my continuing efforts to get qualified as a teacher... closely followed by all the preparations I've been in the thick of for mine and my mate Ed's imminent Mongolia mission.
In hindsight, I think my decision to undertake these two things in tandem was quite possibly insane!
Still, I guess you live and you learn...
Happily, I think I've just about managed to keep on top of the two things. In terms of my fledgling teaching career, I'm planning to write a separate update in the next few days to update you all on where things are at on that score; while I've been documenting everything to do with the Mongol Rally in a seperate blog that you can view by clicking here.
Meanwhile, I've also somehow managed to fit in some other shenanigans too in recent weeks - some of which are depicted in the latest batch of photos that I've uploaded to my blog at www.softbulletin.co.uk. If you're reading these witterings on my blog, simply go to the gallery section. If, on the other hand, you're reading this on Facebook, simply click here to be redirected.
Anyway, without further a do, here's a bit of an account of the major events of recent weeks...
The magnificent woman in her flying machine. And an ace wedding! A couple of Saturdays ago saw me have a ridiculously hectic day... but all for good reason!
It all actually began really last Christmas.
Now within my family, we take great pride in our ability to come up with great ideas for presents for each other. And one day last year, I happened to hear a great friend of ours - Andrea - make a comment about how she's always loved the idea of having a go at flying a plane.
A lightbulb immediately went on in my head... and after getting various members of the family to chip in towards the costs, last Christmas Day saw Andrea presented with one of those 'Gift Experience' packages - namely, the opportunity to have a go at flying a vintage Tiger Moth bi-plane!
Now as any of you have ever met her will know full well, Andrea is a hilarious character - so the chance to see her take to the skies was always going to be unmissable! However, when Andrea arranging the date for her flight, I was presented with a bit of a dilemma. Yes, she ended up booking it for the same day that my friends Andy and Kat were getting married!
Specifically, the flight was booked for 10am in north Nottinghamshire... while Andy and Kat's nupitals were taking place at a church at 1pm in Norwich, some 130 miles away.
I decided that it was just about physically possible to take in both events - and so along with various other members of my family and Andrea's family, a very busy Saturday started with me at a windswept aerodrome.
I actually did the Tiger Moth experience myself a few years ago, so I kind of knew what to expect. Though on this occasion, there was the additional comedy element of Andrea being booked in for her flight by a gentleman called Michael Jackson! Shamone, motherfucker!
Bless her, Andrea was quite nervous prior to take-off. Happily though, she ended up enjoying her airborne experience immensely.
What's more, after some Burt-Reynolds-in-Smokey-and-the-Bandit style driving, I did actually make it to the church for Andy and Kat's wedding with about five minutes to spare!
And a great wedding it was too - not least because I ended up going home with one of the bridesmaids!
I hasten to add however that this was not a case of my silver-tongued pulling techniques paying dividends! Rather, the bridesmaid in question just so happened to be the lovely Rachel - a really good friend of mine, who kindly let me crash at her house to save me the cost of a hotel.
Now Rach and I can kind of take a bit of credit for Andy and Kat getting together!
It's a bit of a long story, and a slightly terrifying reminder really of how your life can ultimately be changed drastically by seemingly trivial events - in this case, a train to Liverpool having been heavily delayed back in September 2000!
It's through having both been on this train that Rach and I first met. Basically, the two of us were both on our way back up to Liverpool. where we were both studying, having both been 'back home' for the weekend - 'home' for me having been Nottingham, and Norwich for Rach.
Now I'm not normally the sort of person to strike up conversation with strangers on trains - in this day and age, most people tend to look at you like you're some sort of sex pest if you even try it!
On this particular journey however, the train wheezed to a halt at Stockport station, where myself, Rach and all the other passengers proceeded to get stranded for seemingly hours.
In the mists of time I can't remember exactly how, but the two of us somehow ended up chatting - and I promptly discovered that, though she'd grown up in Norwich, Rach actually had family history in Nottingham and thus shared my passion for the mighty Nottingham Forest! And so a great friendship was duly born...
But where, you are probably wondering, do Andy and Kat come into it?
Well Rach had known Kat since their school days in Norwich; and then I got to know Andy around 2002 - once again, a friendship based largely on the fact that we both happened to be Forest fans.
Then, if you fast forward to around 2004, Andy moved to the East Anglia area to start a new job - and with him not knowing many people ouat there, I put him in touch with Rach.
Through Rach, Andy then got to know Kat - and the rest is history..!
So, big congrats to Mr and Mrs Cross! You guys make a tremendous couple, and I'm sure you'll be incredibly happy together over the decades to come.
And I still chuckle to myself quite a lot about the thought of the 'pew-slapping' during the church service..!
A flying visit to Liverpool The weekend after Andy and Kat's wedding saw me hit the road again - this time, a trip to Liverpool for a night out to celebrate the birthday of my good pal Mike 'Ruddo' Ruddock!
The night out in question proved to be a most enjoyable one. However, my trip did see me have a bit of a fuckwit moment - namely, getting halfway up to Liverpool and realising that I'd left my bloody wallet at home!
Fortunately, I had enough petol in the tank to complete the journey - and my friends showed what great friends they truly are by subbing me for the duration of my stay.
The trip was tinged with an element of sadness however - because Ruddo is part of a group of friends who, in recent years, I've been going away with every year on an annual 'lads' weekend'.
The weekend in question is always a right giggle - however, I'll be missing it this year due to the fact that I'll be away doing the Mongol Rally.
That said, I will sort of still be going - for the decision has been made to replace me with a lifesize cardboard cut-out!
My trip up to Liverpool saw the lads ceremoniously introduced to my 2D doppelganger - something which naturally caused considerable mirth!
Meanwhile, my birthday gift to Ruddo was also something designed to bring a comedy element to the lads' weekend in my absence.
The weekend in question, you see, has usually seen us book exclusive use of the same six-bed dorm at the backpackers' hostel in the Somerset town of Glastonbury. After several days of being lived in by five or six beer-swilling curry-quaffing men, this small space starts to take on a particular aroma - and so recent years have seen
the dorm generally referred to as 'The Turdis'.
And to make this name official, I decided to present Ruddo with a fetching brass plaque engraved with the words, so he can stick it on the door after the lads check in!Again, this raised more than a chuckle..!
Meanwhile, my trip up to Liverpool also saw me catch up with numerous other pals, including the legendary Bray siblings - with whom I enjoyed a leisurely Sunday lunch on Liverpool's hip Lark Lane. This was made particularly entertaining by the presence in the bar that we were in of the singer from the Zutons, who was absolutely off his face and making a right spectacle of himself.
Mind you, in this age of Scrabble-playing geeks like the fella from Coldplay, it's actually quite refreshing to see rock stars actually behaving like rock stars...
Various gigs... Recent weeks have also seen me go to a number of gigs. In particular, Ben Folds at Rock City in Nottingham was outstanding.
Most memorable in many ways however was the legendary Dolly Parton at Nottingham Arena, who I went to see with my great pal JHH.
Now Dolly is an artist who JHH and me both count as a bit of guiilty pleasure. And needless to say, as two men going together see her, we probably looked gayer than a Elton John and George Michael being caught together in a public toilet!
Naturally then, we decided there was only one thing for it - yes, we'd embrace the gayness and by both going to the gig wearing cowboy shirts for the full 'Brokeback Mountain' look!
The gig proved to be a very entertaining one, with Dolly not only a connsumate performer of her songs, but also a great storyteller too. We were however a bit disappointed by the failure of Kenny Rogers to emerge for 'Islands in the Stream'..!
Various book readings... Lastly, recent weeks have also seen me meet a number of my favourite authors - who all seem to be falling over themselves to come to Nottingham to do book readings!
First of all there was Danny Wallace, one of the leading lights of the 'doing something a bit ridiculous and then writing a book about it' genre that seems to have exploded in recent years. He did a reading at Waterstones in Nottingham to promote his latest book 'Friends Like These'... and I'm pleased to report that he seemed a really nice bloke when I queued up afterwards and got him to sign a copy for me.
A few days later meanwhile, I went along to Nottingham's Broadway cinema for a similar event with Irvine Welsh.
Suffice to say, most of you will probably know of Welsh as the man who wrote 'Trainspotting' - a book which, like most of his work, is written largely in Scottish dialect... and is liberally peppered with rather 'industrial' language!
On this particular occasion, Welsh was doing a reading to promote his new novel, 'Crime'. Following the reading, Welsh took questions from the audience - and I duly took the opportunity to ask him what his memories were of Brian Rice!
Now for the benefit of those of you who don't share my footy anorak tendencies, Rice is a Forest cult hero from the late 1980s, who was signed by Brian Clough from Hibs... the Scottish team who Welsh happens to support! And for the record, Welsh's recollections were of him having been one of the better players in a struggling Hibs team!
What's more, he also said he wouldn't rule out the 'ginger ninja' - as Rice was known to Forest fans' - cropping up in one of his future novels!
You read it here first..!
Like Danny Wallace, Irvine Welsh came across as being a really top bloke. And this was affirmed at the end of the event when, Just as I did at the Danny Wallace reading, I decided to queue to get a copy of the book signed. This time though, I decided it'd be amusing to be a bit cheeky and ask the author if he could inscribe my book with something 'typically Irvine Welsh'! This is why I now own a copy of Irvine Welsh's latest novel bearing the personalised inscription 'Rich - ya radge cunt! Best wishes, Irvine Welsh'!
Without doubt, this is definitely up there with my copy of 'The Best of New Order' signed by John Barnes as one of my most prized pieces of autographed paraphernalia..! 7月13日 Rich and Ed's blog on the Mongol Rally website has been updated!Quite terrifyingly, mine and Ed's departure for our Mongolia mission is now just a matter of days away! Naturally, we've been incredibly busy of late trying franti cally to get things organised. For full details of what we've been up to - and it's been a veritable smorgasbord of shenanigans ranging from pimping our ride to injections of expensive drugs - check out the latest instalment of our blog by clicking here. 7月5日 Rich and Ed's blog on the Mongol Rally website has been updated!Yes, Ed and I have just unleashed news of our latest rally-related activities - and in our humble opinions, it's actually exciting news! First of all though, allo me to give you a bit of context...
Now whenever Ed or I ever tell people about the fact that we're taking part in the Mongol Rally, most folk generally tend to react one of two ways.
For a lot of people, it's pretty much a case of "You guys are bloody mental." And they possibly have a point!
Equally however, there are also a fair few folk whose reaction tends to be more along the lines of "Wow, I'd love to do something like that..."
And if you're in this latter camp - well, listen up... because our aforementioned piece of 'exciting news' is the fact that Ed and I are offering a chance for one person to join us for the opening part of our trip!
Yes, we've decided it'd be a cunning way to raise a bit of cash for our petrol fund if we were to auction off on eBay the opportunity for someone to come with us in our car for the first couple of days of the rally. Granted, our winning bidder won't actually be getting to see Mongolia - as we aren't expecting to make it much beyond the Czech Republic in the time that they'll be with us! Nevertheless, the first couple of days are actually looking like they could be among the most exciting. As well as the spectacle of the big departure from Hyde Park, the winning bidder will get to experience: - The car being taken on a spin round Germany's famous Nurburgring racing circuit; - An official 'knights and wenches' theme fancy dress party being thrown by the rally organisers in a mediaeval Czech castle! This is a 'gift experience' type opportunity that Red Letter Days simply would never be able to offer! For more details, simply click here to be redirected to our blog on the official Mongol Rally website... Alternatively, you can go direct to the eBay auction by clicking here... |
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