The Soft Bulletin

For those of you who don’t bother with the nation’s favourite waste of time – otherwise known as the social networking website Facebook! - this is the first part of a two-part compilation of my ‘status updates’ on Facebook from the last few weeks.

Given that I don’t seem to ever find the time these days to update my blog here on www.softbulletin.co.uk, this will give those of you who are sufficiently interested in my antics a vague insight into what I’ve been up to lately…

For those of you who don’t bother with the nation’s favourite waste of time – otherwise known as the social networking website Facebook! - this is the second part of a compilation of my ‘status updates’ on Facebook from the last few weeks.

Given that I don’t seem to ever find the time these days to update my blog here on www.softbulletin.co.uk, this will give those of you who are sufficiently interested in my antics a vague insight into what I’ve been up to lately…  

Monday 18^th January 2010

Rich  is very amused by the following updates that appeared on BBC online yesterday, as part of their live 'videprinter' coverage of Aston Villa v West Ham: "1510 - Ball kicked into stand, knocking BBC Radio Five Live pundit Robbie Savage's headphones off. 1512 - Robbie Savage is bleeding"! Class…

Tuesday 19^th January 2010

Rich  , though all the ice and snow has melted, is still amused by the story that was in the news last week about two muppets up in Scotland who tried to drive a Peugeot 406 down a frozen canal! And you thought Rich and his mate Ed's attempt to drive to Mongolia back in summer 2008 was the stupidest thing anyone had ever attempted to do behind the wheel of a Peugeot..!

Wednesday 20^th January 2010

Rich  knows it's not very nice to mock the sick and weakly. Nevertheless, he wonders if all the Notts County fans who got all over-excited over Sven still think their team are going to end up eclipsing Forest, given that they barely managed to muster a victory against non-leaguers FOREST GREEN in their FA Cup match last night..!

Thursday 21^st January 2010

Rich  has been enjoying looking this week at a selection of fantastic photographs of his family that were taken during the Christmas holidays by our photographer pal Marc. The photos came about after Rich's Ma decided she wanted to get some family shots taken professionally. Marc writes a blog about his photographic exploits - you can see some of his 'Fisher snaps' at www.onebigpicturephotography.blogspot.com

Friday 22^nd January 2010

Rich  is glad the weekend is in sight, given that it's been a bit of a shitter of a week at work. There's no Forest game though this weekend - which is a shame... as Rich can't get enough of the mighty Reds at the moment, such is their superb current run of form. Still, roll on NEXT weekend when Billy Davies' men take on their woolly neighbours Derby!

Saturday 23^rd January 2010

Rich  is a bit disappointed, as he's just found out that he was unsuccessful in bagging a ticket for next Saturday's Forest match away against Derby. The stingy so-and-sos from down the A52 only allocated a measly couple of thousand tickets to Forest fans - presumably as a measure to minimise the volume of the inevitable choruses of "Robbie Savage, what a..."

Sunday 24tb January 2010

Rich  had a bit of a cinema-fest yesterday, going to see two movies at the flicks back to back! 'No Distance Left to Run', a documentary about the band Blur, was excellent. Pick of the two films Rich saw though was 'Avatar', which was an awesome spectacle in 3D. What's more, some of the blue alien fellas in it looked remarkbly like Nottingham Forest utility man James Perch!

Monday 25^th January 2010

Rich  suspects he's not alone in his belief that the UK music charts have become an irrelevance in recent years, through having become saturated with chumps off various TV talent shows. Nevertheless, he was amused yesterday to catch the Sunday countdown and notice an act called 'Wizard's Sleeve' occupying a fairly high position in the top 40! If you're not sure why this is funny, it's probably best not to ask..!

Tuesday 26^th January 2010

Rich  , being the owner of a parrot called Doris, is highly amused to discover that Chris Evans declared it 'National Doris Day' on his radio show yesterday! Evans asked listeners to contact him if they have 'a Doris in their lives' - and so Rich has fired off an email eulogising about the virtues of his feathered companion. Media stardom for Doris surely awaits..!

Wednesday 27^th January 2010

Rich is buzzing about the continuing excellence of the mighty Nottingham Forest, with the mighty Reds having extended their barnstorming run last night by thrashing QPR 5-0. One can only take one's hat off to manager Billy Davies for the ace job he is doing - although there is still no denying the man's frightening resemblence to little Jimmy Krankie..!

Thursday 28^th January 2010

Rich  is highly amused by latest shenanigans in the Celebrity Big Brother house. In a tender tribute to a certain music video from the 1980s, the housemates were given the challenge of not only making a clay model of Lionel Richie's head - but doing so whilst blindfolded! Class...

Friday 29^th January 2010

Rich 's workplace is currently in the grip of wedding fever, with seemingly half of Rich's colleagues due to get hitched this year! One of the brides-to-be is currently planning her work hen do - and amusingly, Rich has been invited along to be the hen party's 'butler in the buff'! Sadly Rich has had to turn this offer down - for while his butlering skills are second to none, he looks rubbish dressed in yellowy brown..!

Saturday 30^th January 2010

Rich  is excited about Forest taking on their mutton-molesting neighbours Derby later today! He's also a bit nervous - not nervous about the actual match, mind... rather, nervous for his brother Al, who is going to the game, and then has just three hours after full-time to make it down to Heathrow to make check-in for a flight to Vegas, where he's going on a stag do! Will the crazy so and so make it, one wonders..?

Sunday 31^st January 2010

Rich still can't believe that Forest ended their run of 19 matches unbeaten yesterday by losing against, of all teams, Derby! And as if that in itself wasn't bad enough, Rich had a prospective buyer come to view his house a mere half an hour after the match had finished - and it turned out that the bloke in question was a bloody Derby fan! You couldn't make it up..!

Monday 1st February 2010

Rich , in spite of Forest losing, has had a superb and eventful weekend. As well as enjoyable and long overdue catch-ups with his great friends the Bakers and JHH, he also went to see comedian Richard Herring do a fantastic stand-up show called 'Hitler Moustache' - which surprisingly enough, was all about moustaches!

Tuesday 2nd February 2010

Rich  loves it when you discover amazing things you didn't know about your friends! This weekend for instance, he discovered that his pal Ed made a brief appearance on telly when he was about 15, by bagging a part as an extra in a BBC costume drama set in Victorian times - starring alongside no lesser luminary than the great Keith Allen..!

Wednesday 3rd February 2010

Rich  , following on from his musings the other day about how entertaining it is when you discover something amazing you didn't know about one of your friends, has also discovered recently that his pal Neil used to be in a death metal band in his youth! If you go to YouTube and run a search on 'Aggression' [the name of the band] and 'Venial Sin' [the name of one of their songs], you can find a video of them playing a gig!

Thurdsay 4^th February 2010

Rich  is rather concerned by the news reports that that awful Katie Price woman got married this week out in Las Vegas. With Rich's brother out in Vegas at the moment celebrating a friend's 30th, Rich would be glad if someone could confirm that Al wasn't involved in the nupitals in any way..!

Friday 5^th February 2010

Rich  has a friend who has decided to start internet dating - and amusingly, she has asked Rich to write a 'testimonial' for her, eulogising about her virtues, so she can include it on her profile on the dating website she's using! Rich feels slightly like a pimp as he attempts to undertake this task..!

Saturday 6^th February 2010

Rich took some kids from his school to Nottingham's Royal Concert Hall yesterday, where they performed on their violins - which they're learning - with the world-renowned Halle Orchestra! There were also hundreds of kids with instruments from other schools - needless to say, a raucous cacaphony ensued! A now partially-deaf Mr Fisher rather wishes he hadn't been seated directly in front of a group with trombones..!

Sunday 7^th February 2010

Rich Fisher , after their slip-up against Derby last weekend, was pleased to see Forest get back to winning ways yesterday by beating Sheffield Wednesday. Both of the Reds' goals were scored by the redoubtable Dexter Anthony Titus Blackstock, who is rapidly becoming a bona fide Forest legend. In the immortal words of the Kings of Leon - yeaaaaaaah... this Dexter's on fire!

Monday 8^th February 2010

Rich 's heart is full of sorrow as he awakes to the realisation that it's bloody Monday. Good weekend though. Amongst other things, Rich caught up with his brother Al, who is now back from Las Vegas. And happily, Rich can now confirm that Al definitely had nothing to do with the Katie Price wedding. His trip to the USA has however seen him develop a worrying fixation with country music superstar Garth Brooks!

Tuesday 9^th February 2010

Rich  is sad to report that the set of 'grow your own mushrooms' kits that his brother brought him for Christmas appear to have wheezed their last. Rich and Em nevertheless have had a lot of fun lately having their own little mushroom farm in their kitchen - though Rich isn't wholly sure whether Miss Brown has forgiven him yet for a certain cruel mushroom-based prank that he played on her a few weeks back..!

Wednesday 10^th February 2010

Rich  is annoyed that a certain someone has been suffering with a nasty cold this week and is clearly too ill to go to work - and yet has still been dragging herself in and probably making herself worse... largely because her employers have more or less told her she's had "too much time off sick this year". How can you have "too much time off sick"? If you're ill you're ill - you can't help it! Bullying Nazis...

Thursday 11^th February 2010

Rich  is amused by the fact that early-90s one-hit wonder Chesney Hawkes played a gig in Nottingham last night! Years ago, Rich and his mate John had to go and interview Chesney for a radio station! Naturally, this would've been a real high point of Rich's media career - tragically though, 'The One and Only' threw a big flouncy strop and ended up refusing to do the interview. The tool!

Friday 12^th February 2010

Rich  is rather cock-a-hoop about the fact that today is the final day of what has been a hard slog of a half-term at his school. Saying that, this week has been pretty cool, with Mr Fisher having been teaching hid class all about Chinese New Year. This has included a lesson on Chinese food, where the kids were challenged to try and eat some noodles with chopsticks!

Saturday 13^th February 2010

Rich  is not entirely surprised that Sven Goran Eriksson has decided to jump ship at Notts County. It's all quite sad really for County fans. All in all though, Sven's departure can only be a good thing. The womenfolk of Nottingham will certainly sleep better in their beds at night in the knowledge that the randy Swedish sex pest is out of here..!

Sunday 14^th February 2010

Rich  had another viewing on his house this weekend - the fourth he's had since he put it on the market a month or so ago. Rich just wishes someone would make him a decent offer, as ritual of running around hiding clutter and putting nice cushions everywhere before each viewing is starting to get tiresome. Maybe people are being put off by the signed framed photo of Angela Lansbury in the spare bedroom..?

Monday 15^th February 2010

Rich  and Em had a lovely Valentine's Day yesterday, Miss Brown outdoing herself in the kitchen by rustling up a stunning Indian banquet! Rich himself meanwhile proved that romance isn't dead, by avoiding cliches such as flowers and instead presenting Em with a ticket for tomorrow night's Forest game against Sheffield United!

Rich has just uploaded two new photos to the web - one titled 'Christmas 2009', and the other titled 'Other assorted winter shenanigans'.

If you're reading this note on Rich's website, www.softbulletin.co.uk, then simply go to the photo section of the site to view these snaps. If, on the other hand, you're reading this note on Facebook - well, simply click here to be redirected to www.softbulletin.co.uk

For those of you who don’t bother with the nation’s favourite waste of time – otherwise known as the social networking website Facebook! - this is the first part of a two-part compilation of my ‘status updates’ on Facebook from the last few weeks.

Given that I don’t seem to ever find the time these days to update my blog here on www.softbulletin.co.uk, this will give those of you who are sufficiently interested in my antics a vague insight into what I’ve been up to lately…

Sunday 8^th November 2009

Rich  is amused by the tall tales Em has been regaling him with from her Saturday night out on the lash in downtown Nottingham! Of particular entertainment value was the encounter Miss Brown and her pals had in a bar with Forest cult hero Dele Adebola! Amusingly, Adebola told Em that she sounds posh.. and then started hitting on one of her friends!

Monday 9th November 2009

Rich, hellraiser that he is, hereby reports that the main event of his Sunday this weekend was a trip to Macro with his mum & Gran so they could both to stock up on dog food! Scoff as you may though at this not-particularly-rock-n-roll sounding activity, Rich discovered that the previously uncharted waters of Macro are awash with bargains. £9, for instance, for a two litre vat of mango chutney – what’s not to love?!

 Tuesday 10^th November 2009

Rich's friends are all making babies at the mo! Big love to Paul and Betty, who yesterday ushered their second child into the world in the shape of Nell Autumn Esther Turp! Meanwhile congratulations also go to Julie and Ian, who a few days ago had their first child - a wee boy called Thomas. Remember guys, just call for the Goblin King if they scream too much..!

Wednesday 11^th November 2009

Rich  is chuckling about a brief Tuesday night visit to his ma & dad's - in which. without even meaning to, he probably annoyed their tossy neighbours immensely! On arrival at his folks', Rich parked outside aforesaid neighbours' house. And inexplicably, during the 10 minutes he was inside, his car radio came on on its own on full blast, treating aforesaid tossy nerighbours to a deafening barrage of, of all things, the greatest hits of the Bee Gees!

 Thursday 12^th November 2009

Rich is having fun at work by finding tenuous excuses to put music on in his classroom! This week, Mr Fisher's class are doing a Science topic - and each lesson as part of this topic has begun with a short blast of the band We Are Scientists! And yesterday when the kids did an practical experiment with some ice, the song put on to provide the appropriate ambience was… yes… ‘Ice Ice Baby’ by Vanilla Ice!t on softly in the background was... yes... 'Ice Ice Baby'!

Friday 13^th November 2009

Rich  is wondering if he has enough energy left to teach his class today, having had a hectic week at work - including not one but two parents' evenings! That said, he's looking forward to his maths lesson - in particular, finding out if his class have got any better at the three times table through their teacher regularly playing them 'Three is a Magic Number' by De La Soul! Hip hop don't stop...

Saturday 14^th Novemner 2009

Rich  is catching up this weekend with Sonja & Cecilie - two of the three Danish mentalists he met in Budapest back in summer 2008, when him & his mate Ed were doing the Mongol Rally. Along with their friend Tanya, Sonja & Cecilie infamously joined Rich & Ed in their Peugeot 106 for three days of the rally across Hungary and Romania. And brilliantly, they have now got themselves signed up to do the whole Mongol Rally in 2010! Romania. And brilliantly, they have now signed up to do the whole Mongol Rally themselves in 2010!

Sunday 15^th November 2009

Rich hereby warns you never to buy any products manufactured by Hewlett Packard. Rich had one of their printers which, a few months ago, developed a fault while still under warranty. However, Rich has actually ended up resorting to binning it and replacing it himself... as despite weeks of chasing them by phone & email, HP's so-called ‘customer service’ department have been about as helpful as a nasty case of chlamydia.

Monday 16^th November 2009

Rich  is pleased with how well the moustache he's currently growing for charity is coming along - and is hoping his flourishing lip thatch is now impressive enough for people to feel sufficiently moved to want to sponsor him! C'mon folk, dig deep - it's all for a good cause! Rich is happy to accept cold hard cash in person, or you can sponsor him online at http://www.richisgrowingamoforcharity.eu

Tuesday 17^th Novemner 2009

Rich  is sniggering about the first episode of the new series of 'Top Gear' - which saw Clarkson and the team hit the roads of Romania in a variety of supercars. Brought back happy memories for Rich of his own journey through Transylvania with his pal Ed as part of the Mongol Rally back in the summer of 2008. Though the battered Peugeot 106 that Rich and Ed did their trip in could hardly be described as a ‘supercar’!ered Peugeot that Rich and Ed used for their journey could hardly be described as a supercar!

Wednesday 18^th November 2009

Rich  and Em hotfooted it over to Birmingham last night to watch a jaw-droppingly fantastic gig by one of Rich's favourite ever bands - the Flaming Lips. If you aren't familiar with the Flaming Lips and would like to educate yourself, then Rich would thoroughly recommend, as a starting point, that you download their seminal album ‘The Soft Bulletin’ – a beautiful record that is both poignant and life-affirming…1999 album 'The Soft Bulletin'. A beautiful record that is both poignant and life-affirming.

Thursday 19^th November 2009

Rich  currently carries himself with the slightly smug swagger of a man who's already got all of his Christmas shopping done! And talking of the impending festive season, has everyone heard the exciting music news? Yes, Rolf Harris is teaming up with Status Quo to release a Christmas single! It would be genius if this beat whichever chump that wins the X-Factor to the coveted festive number one spot…hoever wins X Factor to the coveted Christmas number one...

Friday 20^th November 2009

Rich  is basking in the achievements of the girls' footy team at the school where he works. Yesterday, Rich was drafted in as 'caretaker manager' for a five a side competition the girls were taking part in - & after a few sage-like motivational words from Mr Fisher straight out of the Brian Clough book of wisdom, the girls proceeded to wipe the floor with all of their opponents and ended up winning the whole tournament!roceeded to wipe the floor with everyone they played and ended up winning the whole tournament!

Saturday 21^st November 2009

Rich  is glad the weekend is here following a hectic week at work. Fun has been had though on the primary education battleground. Rich has had his class learning about the Caribbean all week - & as part of this, Rich made a call on his mobile in the middle of a lesson to his old college pal Caroline, who now lives in Grenada… and then put her on ‘speakerphone’ so his class could have a chat with her!.. and put her on 'speakerphone' so the kids could have a chat with her!

Sunday 22^nd November 2009

Rich's efforts to raise awareness of the fact that he's growing a moustache for charity hit new heights this weekend, when he managed to get his lip thatch on the telly! You can read the full story online by checking out the blog Rich is writing about his facial hair adventures, which can be found at http://www.richisgrowingamoforcharity.eungamoforcharity.eu. You can also sponsor Rich via this link should you so wish..!

Monday 23^rd November 2009

Rich  and Em went to the cinema yesterday to see 'The Men Who Stare at Goats'. Well worth a look - and not just because of the great title! Talking of goats meanwhile, Rich and Em are also heading out again tonight, in order to spend the evening in the company of randy old Swedish goat Sven Goran Eriksson! Rich is gonna try and get Sven to sponsor him for his tach!

Tuesday 24^th November 2009

Rich went yesterday to an event in Nottingham billed 'An evening with Sven Goran Eriksson'! An interesting night - though a bit stage-managed in that, while the audience were invited to submit questions in writing to be put to Sven, you couldn't help feeling that any contentious ones were being filtered out. And so Rich left still not knowing how many of the Notts County FC ticket office girls Sven has rogered thus far..!till not knowing how many of the Notts County ticket office girls Sven has rogered thus far..!

Wednesday 25^th November 2009

Rich  is looking forward tonight to watching Top Gear, to see if Jeremy Clarkson makes reference to the jovial abuse he got on Saturday from 3,000 Forest fans! Randomly, the Top Gear team made an appearance on the pitch at half-time at the Reds game away at Middlebrough - and apparently, Clarkson was immediately lampooned from the away end with a rousing chorus of “Who ate all the pies?” Priceless..!om the away end with a rousing chorus of classic terrace ditty "Who ate all the pies?"! Priceless..!

Thursday 26^th November 2009

Rich  is loving the fact that snooker great Jimmy White is one of the contestants in the current series of 'I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here'. Certiainly makes a refreshing change for there to actually be a proper legend in the jungle, as opposed to the usual flotsam and jetsam of no-marks and Z-listers. Go The Whirlwind!